It Happened on
April 23, 1911
The Des Moines Register
People featured in this post:
Princess Vilma Lwoff-Parlaghy
Her serene Highness - Prolific portraitist of notable Europeans and Americans
Astronomer Giovanni Domenico Cassini discovers Iapetus, the second known moon of the planet Saturn
It Happened on
January 25, 1671
“Ladies and gentlemen, have you heard the latest news from our friends in the astronomical community? On this very day, way back in 1671, an Italian-born French astronomer by the name of Giovanni Domenico Cassini discovered Iapetus, the second known moon of Saturn. And you know what they say, two’s company, but three’s a crowd – especially when it comes to moons orbiting Saturn.
But let’s not forget, Christiaan Huygens beat Cassini to the punch by discovering Titan back in 1655. Talk about a one-upmanship. I guess Cassini was just trying to play catch-up with Huygens.
But, in all seriousness, this is a truly significant discovery for the field of astronomy. It just goes to show that even in the 17th century, mankind’s quest for knowledge and understanding of the universe was already well underway. Who knows what other wonders we’ll discover in the centuries to come.”
– Bob Nope
“Yo, what’s up folks, it’s your boy Faux Rogan here, and I got some news for you about some dudes who were looking up in the sky back in the day. On this very day, way back in 1671, an Italian-born French astronomer by the name of Giovanni Domenico Cassini discovered Iapetus, the second known moon of Saturn. Can you even imagine? Back in the day, these dudes were looking through telescopes and finding new moons.
But let’s not forget, Christiaan Huygens beat Cassini to the punch by discovering Titan back in 1655. Talk about a one-upmanship. I guess Cassini was just trying to play catch-up with Huygens.
And speaking of catching up, have you heard about Edwin Hubble? He’s still trying to catch up to the big boys in the telescope game. I heard he’s still using a magnifying glass.
But, in all seriousness, this is some mind-blowing stuff, man. These dudes were discovering new moons way back in the day. It just goes to show you how little we know about the universe. And the crazier part is that we keep discovering new things, it’s just amazing man. The universe is insane.”
– Faux Rogan
This content was rewritten in the voice of beloved comedians by ChatGPT.
